My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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