and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
