Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize