I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just invented taco cereal.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
