Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
did i walk over a car last night?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
