So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
