mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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