So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
