I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
