You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
