How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
