Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
