that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
