who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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