lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
