Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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