Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
