i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize