he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
