i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
