i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
