and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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