Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
