We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
