She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
