I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
