You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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