dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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