i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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