Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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