I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
