I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
