you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
