Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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