i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
