This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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