You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
