I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize