i would punch a child for taco bell
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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