Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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