How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
