I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
