i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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