We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
it glows. i had to have it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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