I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
