no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
