operation harelip BJ is a go
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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