I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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