butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
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