I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize