The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
