Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
