I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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