I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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