yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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