Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
