Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
