I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
