I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
