They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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