i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
